Recommendation From My Bosses — Ronan and Tess

On the eve of my 20th college reunion, I am considering returning to school.  I might have to take the GREs, for which I’ve been preparing by helping my son with his 5th grade homework.  I will have to write a resumé explaining what the hell I’ve been up to all these years.  (Do you think diaper-changing and carpooling count?)  And I will have to get up to 3 professional letters of recommendation.  Since I pretty much work for my kids, I am thinking of asking them.  Here is what they might write:

Dear school people:

Our mom is a pretty good mom.  Sometimes she’s the best mom, but to tell the truth, you should know, she uses bad words.  She did promise to give them up for Lent, so maybe that will help.  Our mom can be super nice, but also kind of mean.  Like when she checks our homework.  If it’s bad, she makes us do it again.  One good thing about her, is that if we keep asking for something, like a trip to Target, eventually she gives in.  Also, if she wants us to pick up things like wet towels, and we don’t do it, she will do it herself.  Sometimes she tells us, as she is picking up the towel, that this makes her a bad mother, but we think it makes her awesome.  Another thing we like is that if we forget our lunches at home, by 11am she feels so guilty about us starving, that she shows up at school.  Since she has nothing else to do, except play tennis, she brings us our lunch.  She makes a face like she’s mad, but still gives us a hug.  Speaking of which, our mom plays too much tennis.  We wish she would never play tennis, because that is the one time she turns off her phone.  We like it when we can reach her at all times, especially when she is out at a party and we have a sitter.  Will this school thing get in the way of that?  If so, than we don’t think you should accept her.

If you do take her, you should know, she is always correcting our grammar, but her spelling is not much better than ours.  As for math, it turns out she’s pretty good at it, even though when she was a kid, she didn’t think she was.  She needs math when she gets the groceries, even though Daddy always says she doesn’t look at the prices when she shops.  The last time we went with her to Trader Joe’s, she got us everything we asked for.  We were really surprised.  It was great.  On the bad side, you should know, she eats our Halloween candy.  She thinks she’s sneaking it, but we see her climb up to the top cabinet, over the washing machine.

One thing my mom cannot stand is when we are late.  We are never tardy to school because of this, but sometimes she speeds and shouts at the cars that are in her way to get us there.  We are pretty sure she will always hand in her homework on time.

We would like her to be happy, because she is nicer when she is happy, but we don’t want to have a baby sitter, to be the last kids picked up from carpool, or to ever stay at after school.  Of course, it might be nice to tell our friends that our mommy is a doctor or a lawyer or something like that.  We do like her blog, even though she ignores us when she is writing it.  There is stuff about us in it and even our pictures some times.  Most of all, we hope that this is an online school so, if she does get in, she can still work for us full-time.


Ronan and Tess

About Lindsay Jamieson

Author of Beautiful Girl, mother of 2, wife of cinematographer, former dancer, snowboarder -- recovered bulimic.
This entry was posted in grad school at 40, parentling, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Recommendation From My Bosses — Ronan and Tess

  1. Zoe says:

    Great post. What do you think you might study? I started grad school when jack was 2 ( but preparing for it a year or so before). but I toy with the idea of getting another masters or at least a certificate in something.

  2. Noah Vale says:

    This is wonderful, whether you go back to school or not! You’re on safe ground with either of those two subjects; you’re a natural at both. On the other hand, I fear that Education courses might be boring for you. But, what do I know? I’m just speculatin’ on a hypothesis. You know I don’t know nothin’.

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